Mother-daughter relationships can be positive or unhealthy, depending on the circumstances. If you’re reading this article, you’re probably wondering how to improve the relationship between you and your daughter.
Being a parent is extremely challenging because our children deserve to grow and learn without being held back by fear, shame, or hatefulness. As parents, we are here to provide love, guidance, and trust; unfortunately, our own limitations get in the way sometimes, but we don’t have to let those hinder us if we just take responsibility for our role instead of laying blame elsewhere.
Even though improving your mother-daughter relationship can be difficult, there are certain things you can do to help keep your relationship healthy in the short term as well as fix it in the long run.
Why are Mother Daughter Relationships so Difficult?
Generally speaking, in order for a person to form healthy relationships, their state of mind needs to be in a good place, and they need to be happy with who they are. Sometimes, however, mothers have some insecurities which prevent them from forming healthy relationships with their daughters
RELATED: 12 Tips on How to be a Good Mother
The 5 Types of Insecure Moms
- The Needy Mom
She always calls, texts, or drops by unexpectedly to be your best friend.
- The Perfectionist Mom
She is very controlling and doesn’t allow room for mistakes
- The Silent or Passive-Aggressive Mom
Moms of this type express their disapproval through coldness, guilt trips, and insults disguised as jokes.
- The Drama Queen Mom
Through lies, passive aggression, and angry outbursts at inappropriate times, she likes to stir up trouble and sow discord within relationships.
- The Narcissistic or Attention-Seeking Mom
This mother seeks attention from others without considering what their needs might be in return. She is always concerned about herself.
This kind of behavior is rooted in insecurity, so it’s important to enhance your own self-confidence so that you can be fully present for your child.
In a healthy relationship, both parties are committed to each other, respect one another, and establish boundaries that are not crossed when either is upset or hurt.
This is the only way they can both find fulfillment while also being able to foster an environment where they feel loved and cared for.
8 Ways to Build a Stronger Bond with Your Daughter
If this is the case for you, you may need some practical ways to build a stronger bond with your daughter. Here are some things you can do to improve your mother-daughter relationship:
1. Use positive affirmations
It can make a difference to let her know that she is amazing or to share your pride in her.
2. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions
Make sure your daughter knows she can open up to you about her emotions at any time, and that you will always be there to listen and offer support. Let her know that there is no such thing as a bad emotion.
3. Show her you are human and not perfect
Admitting mistakes and not having all the answers is okay. In fact, these moments of vulnerability show strength and foster trust within a relationship
4. Show affection
Hug and kiss her
5. Make a point of complimenting her occasionally
6. Pay attention to the person she is becoming
7. Engage in regular activities together
8. Have regular quality one-on-one time with her.
As they become adults, girls cherish experiences with their mothers (and fathers) more than anything else.
How to Encourage and Inspire Your Daughter
Show interest in your daughter’s life.
1. Take an active interest in her hobbies, volunteer at her school or at her extracurricular activities if possible. This way, you will get to know more about who she is as a person and learn how to support her as she grows into an adult.
2. Let your daughter lead conversations. Instead of trying to steer every conversation toward yourself and your own interests, let her do most of the talking.
3. Learn from her by listening to what she has to say and allowing for give-and-take.
4. Choose your battles wisely.
- While there may be important issues on which you disagree, try not to engage in daily arguments over things like clothing choices or curfew times.
- These can turn into drawn-out conflicts that drain both energy and attention away from other areas of importance; instead, keep communication limited to key issues and always aim to keep it positive.
For daughters, having a good relationship with their mother is important for their happiness and wellbeing, but sometimes that doesn’t work out. Mothers need to take charge and help their mother daughter relationship by taking the time to work on themselves, so they can be in a better place to care and build healthy relationships.
I hope you find this article useful.