It is common for teenagers to encounter a series of confusing events. A teenager’s mental health and emotional well-being are affected by their problems. Parents are often approached by teenagers who have problems. In addition, Parents try to provide practical solutions and suggestions just to find that they are dismissed as irrelevant or even stupid when they present their ideas to their teens. Why do Teenagers Reject their Parents’ Solutions to Their Problems?
What You Need to Know About Teenagers
- In situations where they feel stuck in a corner, they may lose flexibility.
- You won’t be able to get their support if they feel like you are always hovering over them
- Feeling disrespected will make them reject anything you say
Why Teenagers Reject Parents’ Solutions to Their Problems
Parents are not giving teens what they are craving; When a teenager comes to you with a problem, it’s best to assume that they are not actually inviting you to offer advice and suggestions. This is a perfect opportunity to connect with your teenager. It is important for you to know that currently, they are not interested in your advice or suggestions. It’s just that they want to discuss the various scenarios that have occurred.
Additionally, teens want to explain and define the worry they are experiencing, as well as get rid of confusing thoughts. This is very helpful for teens, and parents can enable it by creating the space and providing the opportunity.
How Parents can Listen to Their Teenagers
It is important to listen without interrupting and not to bring your own inferences into the conversation. Young people are looking for empathy from their parents. It is important to remember that worries and concerns cannot be solved.
There is no need to offer solutions to teens, just a listening ear. It relieves them to talk to you about their worries and problems in a private setting. Externalizing and talking about problems is much more effective than internalizing them.
How a Teenager Builds Trust With Their Parents
It is far worse to feel alone with your problems than to have difficulty. Teenagers often want to talk about their problems, but not necessarily with their friends, and they will turn to you for empathy rather than solutions during these times. You have the responsibility to provide a genuine response to your child as a parent.
Alternatively, you can say, “I understand why you are upset”. Ensure that they know you’re willing to listen to them and their problems.
Offer to give additional support by asking if they want you to stay with them or would prefer to be alone.
How Parents Can Best Support Their Teenagers
Ask if there is anything else you can do for them that won’t actually make them feel more miserable. Asking these sorts of questions lets them know that you’re not uncomfortable with their concerns. It also lets them know that you are willing to sit with them even if there are no solutions.
It can be hard to resist the urge to offer solutions right away, but know that if you do, it can send a message to teens that they can’t solve their problems on their own, which can undermine their confidence in their skills and resilience when what they really need is your reassurance that they can cope.
How To Make Teenagers Feel Heard
Whenever teenagers discuss their worries and concerns, they may feel vulnerable. Hence, parents must be careful because even the best-intentioned advice and guidance can be misinterpreted as criticism, a lecture, or even an outright attack on them during these moments.
In lieu of offering solutions, you could say, “I have seen you get through this sort of situation before” or, “I know this is challenging, but you have the resilience to get through it.” They might gain some perspective and self-esteem from this.
The Importance of Talking to Your Teenager
When it comes to teenagers, it’s advisable to wait for a less sensitive time; teens typically want ideas instead of instructions. Empathizing with them and encouraging them is usually enough to make them feel supported.
Afterward, if they’re still seeking a solution, they might actually appreciate some advice from you. You can ask their permission to give them your suggestion.
Why Teenage Problem solving is Important
Instead of giving them instructions, work with them to come up with solutions for things that are within their control. To help them, ask what is under their control, what can be changed, and what is not under their control. It is important to help them accept the things that cannot be changed and help them understand why.
Learning problem-solving skills will help them navigate the complex teenage years as well as the rest of their lives.
What Parents Should not do to Teenagers
Providing a solution too quickly to teenagers makes them feel that you didn’t listen to them or understand what they were going through. It is common for teenagers just to want to hear from their parents that everything will be alright, they only want and need our listening and understanding.
Why Parents Give Unsolicited Advice
Parents do not want to see their children sad, and it is totally understandable to say things like “it’s no big deal” or “you won’t even remember it in a few years” to make their teens feel better.
In spite of their best efforts, parents sometimes fail to provide solutions for their children as well as for themselves. It is natural for parents to feel responsible for their children and wants them to succeed. Most parents want to raise their children right by doing the right things, so they tend to control every aspect of their lives. Intuition is good, but this is not the best method.
Teenagers Want to Feel they are in Control
It is natural for teenagers to want control over their lives. The goal of teenagers is to become more independent by rejecting their parents’ solutions. It is not uncommon for parents to hover over their children like helicopters. The helicopter parenting method involves controlling all of the actions of your children and constantly monitoring them.
For teenagers to feel confident, they need to realize they can depend on themselves and things individually. There is no need to provide instructions or lectures to them. If you say something like, “I have not been there, but I feel you” your teenager will appreciate it.
Building Trust Between Parents and Teens
Teenagers want to make sure that you are and will be there for them even if they come up with a wrong or different solution than yours. They want to know you’ll support them.
Give your teenagers time to think before offering them a solution. You never know when they might come up with an excellent solution if you let them work it out for themselves. Giving your teenagers the opportunity to solve their problems independently will make them more receptive to your advice.
Allow Them to Make Mistakes
In order for teenagers to learn from their mistakes and feel confident in their solutions, you must not always be involved. It is important to remember that you won’t always be able to provide solutions for them.
Often, the best thing to do is to give them some time and check on them later. In case they are still searching for a solution, you can suggest something to them.
Why Teenagers Don’t Open Up to Their Parents
In anticipation of hearing “I told you so” from their parents, teens often don’t bother to ask for solutions. They may reject parental solutions in favor of their own. To avoid this from happening consider talking to them about a similar experience you have had instead of offering a solution.
What Causes Teenagers to Reject Their Parents’ Solutions?
As parents, we hope for more clarity, communication, and parental confidence, but these are often shattered when our kids, especially teenagers, reject our solutions and advice.
Their perception may be that you are threatening them and everything they know and that you are changing their mission to become independent. Kids are used to parents telling them what to do when they’re young, but once they become teenagers, this strategy doesn’t work as well.
This threatens their autonomy. Teenagers want to feel like they are growing, and they want others to see it too, especially their parents. Additionally, they would like their parents to respect the fact that their child is becoming more independent. This is why teenagers may reject their parents’ solutions to problems since they want to believe that they can solve them on their own.
Why Teenagers Become Distant From Their Parents
A teenager wants to feel in control of his or her life. They’re trying to figure out what they’re in charge of, and problem-solving is one area where they want to feel power and control.
How To Deal With Rejection From Your Teenager
Parenting requires calm and collected behavior. The more you take your teen’s rejection of your advice personally, the more likely it is that your emotions will become elevated. As a result, your teenager will become even more distant from you.
Why do Teenagers Reject their Parents’ Solutions to Their Problems? Parents have to get used to allowing their children to develop their decision-making skills. By doing this, your teens will grow to understand what is right, what is wrong, and what should be avoided.
Furthermore, parents should remember that teens are still developing their decision-making skills, so they must utilize this skill in order to get used to making their own decisions as they grow older.
Rather than lecturing your kids, have conversations with them. Show interest in their decision-making process when they do something that you disapprove of or if the decision is not what you recommend. Be curious about their thoughts and take an interest in their lives to learn how they think.