Working Mother’s Guilt is experienced by most working moms.
Working mothers should be acknowledged for their hard work, unconditional love, and devotion to their families. The most significant event may be honoring and acknowledging the challenges they face and helping to create the conditions they need for success in their lives and workplaces. This, in turn, would help working moms get over their working mother’s guilt quicker.
In the present day, more than 50% of mothers having young children work in the United States, It was just one-third in the 1970s.
Rather than the exception, the Working Women class has now become the rule, Moms have been moving into the workforce not only for the satisfaction of their careers but also because they and their families need the income.
Working Mothers’ guilt is real, and the feeling of leaving your child in someone else’s care is gut-wrenching and heartbreaking at times.
Below are some questions working mothers often ask themselves and tips on how to overcome working mothers’ guilt.
1. It is Ok to Be a Working Mother
Should I have stayed home until my kids were older, will my kids resent me for not being there for them, Or am I choosing work over my kids?
These are the questions that often come to mind for working mothers, especially since working moms have been the subject of substantial debate in the parenting arena.
They are usually condemned for not being there.
I stayed home for a year with my son, and at the end of that year, I could not wait to get back to work, but at the same time, I did not want, or I was not ready to leave my son in someone else’s care because I wanted to have the best of both worlds.
Working mothers understand that they cannot always provide the level of care they desire, so they seek to find the care their child needs during their absence.
It takes planning on how you are going to balance your work and home life. Working mothers have to think about how they are going to spend quality time with their families.
RELATED: 10 Easy Self-Care Tips for Busy Moms
2. Working Mothers’ Effects on Child’s development
I was most concerned about this when I returned to work 6 weeks after having my daughter, despite the fact that my mother-in-law had cared for her well.
This did not prevent me from feeling guilty about leaving her at home with my mother-in-law, and I would often ask myself, “Will my baby forget me if I leave for work?”
Leaving her at such an early age made me nervous that she would not relate to me and that she would resent me for leaving her.
My working mother’s guilt caused me to have all sorts of thoughts go through my head.
The feeling that I was choosing work over my daughter was not pleasant.
My new job started when I was about 3 months pregnant, and so I asked for six weeks of maternity leave because I felt guilty about taking the whole 12 weeks, it was a new job and me wanting to show my boss my commitment to the job.
My daughter and I are very close, and research has found that the employment of mothers appears to have little impact on children’s behavior and academic achievement over the short term.
3. The Guilt of Your Child Feeling Abandoned at Daycare
My working mother’s guilt is especially high when daycare drop-offs are full of tears. When my kids cry for me at drop-off and I hear them cry down the hallway is very heartbreaking for me. It is not an easy task when a mom leaves her crying child at daycare or anywhere else.
Most working moms feel guilty that they are abandoning and or ignoring the needs of their children. As strong of a feeling, as this can be, working mothers learn to treat this thought as a normal feeling. They come to replace it by reminding themselves that they are doing their best to care for their child and that they have found the best care for their child while they are at work.
4. Working Mothers and harming their families
The increasing trends of mothers in the labor market have a far-reaching effect on family relationships as a couple and as parents.
Being a working mother can be tough, you have to be able to separate your home life from your work life, and this can be hard to do depending on the type of work you do.
With proper planning, working mothers can come to enjoy a happy work/home life and rear well-adjusted and healthy kids.
Because working moms have limited time with their kids compared to stay-at-home moms, they have to work a little harder to make sure that they are spending quality time with their kids.
Scheduling family time is usually a great way to not miss out on spending quality time with your kids, and it would also help lessen the effect of the working mother’s guilt.
5. The Pandemic and Working Mothers
2020 was a tough year for everyone, but even tougher for working mothers. Schools and daycares shut down, and working mothers had to find a way to care for their children while working from home.
Most working mothers were prone to burnout as a result of working from home, because not only were they forced to do both; their job and also care for their kids but in most cases, mothers also had to supervise their kids’ schooling.
Most companies were very understanding of this and I hope that companies will continue to be flexible and understanding even now that we are somewhat post-pandemic.
Because there will still be times when kids/families will be required to quarantine, finding a sitter for your quarantining kids can be difficult.
Working Mother Burnout
A working mother’s burnout oftentimes goes unnoticed, the constant feeling of being torn between two worlds, never having enough time, and feeling as if you are not fully in every endeavor wears you out.
Most moms don’t recognize that they are burned out because they are aware that being a working mom is not easy, and so they just go with the flow.
Yes, being a working mother comes with an incredible amount of stress but if you start to experience the following signs, it means your stress has become chronic and is causing havoc to your body, and you’re maybe suffering from working mom burnout;
2. Difficulty concentrating
3. Not enjoying the work you once loved
6. Low mood
7. Loss of purpose
The above list is not an exhaustive one, there are a lot more symptoms that a working mom may experience. If you start to experience two or more of the above symptoms, then you’re maybe experiencing mommy burnout.
A way to handle Working Mom burnout is to first recognize that you are burned out and try to alter your environment and your attitude towards it and remove or reduce the factors responsible for causing burnout.
Recognize that you need a break and don’t feel guilty about it.
Draw your own boundaries and become comfortable saying no.
Scheduling time for yourself more would often help as well, find a self-care routine that you can adopt.
Ask for help.
5 Ways To Overcome Working MOTHERS’ Guilt
The key point to getting over the Working Mother’s guilt is Self Trust. Frustration and worrying couldn’t be the solution to any problem.
To let go of your guilt, you must stop beating yourself up over your choices and circumstances.
Just pen down the issues and their possible solutions, do some research, and finalize the best decision for you and your family.
Trust your judgment and execute it.
2. Changing Thoughts
When thoughts or feelings of guilt accelerate, learn to accept and normalize these feelings by trusting your choices and your values.
Remind yourself that being a mother, working or staying at home, comes with worrying about our kids and questioning whether we are parenting our kids well.
Working Mothers are always trying to make sure that their kids are happy, that they have everything they need and more, and that they are well cared for.
3. Normalize the Working Mother’s Guilt Feeling
Normalizing the working mother’s guilt will make it easier for you to move past those negative emotions and instead focus on the positive facets of contributing to the present and future of your kids.
Planning fun activities with your family and so on can also help ease the guilt feeling.
4. Spend Quality Time With Your Family
No doubt, most working mothers do not have enough time to spend with their families, which is why it will be important to make it a priority to set time aside to spend with your family.
Plan to do an activity once or twice a week, and have a calendar where you can write down planned family activities for all family members to see.
Game nights or movie nights are a great way to spend time with your family.
Encourage family communication by playing games like the Say Anything Board Game, where everyone playing can share ideas and thoughts about certain topics.
5. Spare Some Time For You Too
Most mothers rarely think about taking the time to take care of themselves, however, it is important that moms, working or not, schedule some time for just THEM.
Self-care activities should not be complicated, find less time-consuming activities and make sure it’s an activity you LOVE, also, remember to not feel guilty about enjoying your YOU time because you deserve it!
How To Survive Life as A Working Mother:
Keep things in perspective and remember that there is no one “right” way to do things. Setting your own personal standards will be very helpful.
Don’t compare yourself to others, remembering that NO one is perfect will be helpful, and most importantly practice self-compassion.